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A daily joke blog.

Rocket Science

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically
to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners,
military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at
maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent
incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the
strength of the windshields. 

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager
to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed
trains. Arrangements were made. But when the gun was
fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled
out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield,
smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control
console,  snapped the engineer's backrest in two and
embedded itself in the back  wall of the cabin. 

The horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results
of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield,
and begged the U.S. scientists for  suggestions. 

NASA's response was just one sentence,  "Thaw the chicken."

Fairy Tale

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch.
But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.
The End

handy-woman

A blond teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.

"And by the way, "the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."