A Child's View of Angels

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.

Gregory, 5

I hear angels all the time in my dreams. And I'm sticking with that no matter how many people tell me I'm crazy.

Molly, 8

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why but scientists are working on it.

Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.

Matthew, 9

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.

Henry, 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from holy cows.

Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The basic message is where you went wrong before you got dead.

Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.

Regan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.

Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.

Jared, 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. Antonia, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.

Katelyn, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the kid get over it.

Vicki, 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.

Sarah, 7

The Birth Order of Children

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child : When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!


GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to
live.