Out of gas

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas.
Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?

"I'm out of gas!"

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

"Try it now," said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow!" the man exclaimed.
"What did you put in my gas tank"?

The bee answered, "BP."

Martha

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his
Ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the Patio
table.


Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to Him....
"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the
insurance money!"


She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with
the insurance money!"


Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the
Ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it
Too, with the insurance money!"


Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Herman,
Remember that blow job I promised you?" Here it comes..........

gofugyourself

Well, if you don't like the frequency of my posts, and need a little deviation, well then.... gofugyourself.

I'm not one who cares about fashion, but this is just damn funny.