Heaven's New Acceptance Policy

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to
have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect
at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The
Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, 'Before I
let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died.'
'No problem,' the man said. 'I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch
hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I
imm ediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as
I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony an d
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve
of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the
ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke
his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.
In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my hands
on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the
refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony and tipped it over
the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died
almost instantly.'
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day
It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, 'OK, sir. Welcome to the
Kingdom of Heaven,' and let him in.
A few seconds later Donald Trump a r rived at the gates..
'Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like
when you died.'
Trump said, 'No problem. But you're not going to believe this I was on the
balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a
lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got
a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine.
But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts
cussing and stomps on my fingers Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and
bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away.
As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating
pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It
falls the 25 floors and lands on top of m e, killing me instantly.'
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. 'I could
get used to this new policy,' he thinks to himself. 'Very well,' the Angel
announces. 'Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and he lets Trump enter.
A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too
shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's
head. Finally he says, 'Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day
you died.'
Clinton says, 'OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......'