Why I decided to retire when I did...

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice Factory, but I got canned. I couldn''t concentrate.



2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn''t hack it, so they gave me the axe.



3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn''t suited for it; —mainly because it was a sew-sew job.



4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.



5. Then, I tried to be a Chef—; figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn''t have the thyme.



6. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn''t cut the mustard.



7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually, I found I wasn''t noteworthy.



8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn''t have any patience.



9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn''t fit in.



10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn''t live on my net income.



11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.



12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn''t fit for the job.



13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian —until I realized there was no future in it.



14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.



15. SO, I tried retirement and found that I''m perfect for the job!