Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
them
in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of
the
cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them
and put
them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by
ex-chicken
farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from
the
chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the
regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take
care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them,
but the
government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of
them
and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts
you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the
milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick
someone to
tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them.
Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down
the
drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the
missing
cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair
price or
your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy
a
bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.