Redneck Medical Terms

* Artery......................The study of paintings.
* Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
* Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.
* Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.
* Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
* Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.
* Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
* Colic.......................A sheep dog.
* Coma........................A punctuation mark.
* D&C.........................Where Washington is.
* Dilate......................To live long.
* Enema.......................Not a friend.
* Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
* Fibula......................A small lie.
* Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.
* G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball.
* Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
* Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
* Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
* Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
* Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
* Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
* Node........................I knew it.
* Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
* Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
* Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
* Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
* Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
* Rectum......................Darn near killed him.
* Secretion...................Hiding something
* Seizure.....................Roman emperor.
* Tablet......................A small table.
* Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
* Tumor.......................More than one.
* Urine.......................Opposite of you're out
* Varicose....................Near by